2020 has been a car-crash for most people.
The global pandemic and the lockdowns has completely disrupted our normal way of life.
Disruption is uncomfortable. It creates confusion. It causes stress and puts us under more pressure.
There are people who have lost their job and businesses.
Being pushed together has shown the hidden cracks in many relationships.
So it’s been a time of reflection. It has been a wake-up call for many people.
Now Is The Perfect Time to meet someone
Looking ahead though, there are three vaccines on the way and so there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.
When we come through this, there are going to be lots of people that have spent a lot of time re-evaluating their lives.
There are going to be a lot of people looking for a more real and a deeper connection than before.
I think there’s going to be a lot more honesty.
Confusion is what happens when the old way is broken up and we haven’t had something new to come in and replace it yet.
We are now in the rubble of the old and ready to rebuild and find something better to move forward with.
So the beginning of a new year is something we can welcome in with optimism.
How Can You Ensure Better Relationships In 2021?
The most important relationship you have is with yourself.
All other relationships are built on that foundation. So the first key is how are you doing?
The key performance indicator for that is how do you feel?
When you feel like shit, you’re going to be irritable and grouchy. Everything is going to irritate you and you’re going to bring out the worst in others.
Often, people who are operating below the line feel bad. When we feel bad we look for a focus for our anger or frustration. And so they blame their partners for how they feel and think they are the problem.
Later, when they’re alone they still feel the same and realise the problem wasn’t their partner, but them.
So step 1 is to check in on how you are feeling generally and more specifically about dating or your relationship.
Whenever you feel bad, it is a sign that there is a dissonance between the situation you see and your personal narrative about it.
The natural response is to change the situation. Often though, we can’t change the situation. We can easily change our narrative.
Our narrative is what determines our motivation and ultimately gets us moving on the actions that create results.
When You Act On Misguided Information You Do The Wrong Thing
George Bush and Tony Blair invaded Iraq and started a long war based on the misguided belief that Saddam Hussein was close to having nuclear weapons.
We now know the belief was false and the war was a mistake.
Thousands of lives have been lost and there has been much anguish because of that action.
Now, your decisions are likely to not be quite as life and death, but the success or failure of your relationships are based on what you believe about relationships.
We have a failure rate of 55% of marriage as a society. Relationships in general are much, much higher.
This means that the odds are against your relationships succeeding… UNLESS you act from a different relationship model.
I’ve talked about the critical importance of operating from the 4 Relationship Truths rather than the Fairy Tale Model before, so I’m not going into detail about that here. Suffice to say you have to upgrade your Relationship Operating System.
Competence Leads To Confidence Which Leads To Success
Dating is a set of skills.
Can you understand someone, connect to them and express yourself?
When someone sees you on a dating site, you are a two-dimensional profile.
They don’t care about you and aren’t interested in you.
Until you become three dimensional to them, your interactions are transactional. If you can’t connect to them at a deeper level they will treat you as a commodity.
What skills do you need to learn to make dating simpler and more rewarding in 2021?
What We Do Determines Our Future
We started with asking how you feel. There’s a reason for that. Because how you feel determines how much action that you take and how wholeheartedly you’ll take that action.
What we do consistently is going to determine our results.
Dating is about our knowledge, skills and confidence for sure, but unless we send messages and go on dates that knowledge goes to waste.
If we learn and learn about relationships, but don’t convert our knowledge into action the relationship doesn’t improve.
We have to be doing.
And the way that we do consistently is by identifying the actions we have to take to be successful and then building the habits that make those actions come naturally.
Want To Supercharge Your Relationship Success?
In 2021 I am launching the Relational Mastery System.
It is the complete system to build a loving and lasting relationship from scratch.
It gives you the step by step process to;
- Be your best self
- Find the right Partner for you
- Build the right relationship for you.
If you’re not ready for the complete system, I have broken a fragment of the system, the 20% of effort that brings 80% of results into a smaller month-long programme Start Dating Right.