Every successful journey needs two things, a starting point and a destination. So we need to find out where you are now, where you want to be and then we can begin working out how to get from A to B.
So here you want to write how you’re feeling right now. I know this probably is the last thing you’re going to want to get into right now. It would be so much easier not to feel, but you’re going to feel it. It’s going to creep up on you as you lay in bed, when you hear that song, see that picture etc.
By confronting it now, you’re taking control over the emotional control it has over you. This is Ground Zero, from here on you start climbing the hill, feeling better and stronger each day.
Rate your satisfaction with your relationships
On a scale of 1 – 10. 1 being they’re horrible and make you feel bad, 10 being they’re wonderful and make you light up whenever you think of them. Then give a brief summary of how they make you feel.
- Other Family/Friends
Feelings about your relationships
Write a little about how you feel about your romantic relationships (Or Lack Of).
Here are some prompts…
- Things you miss from being in the relationship?
- Things you liked in the relationship?
- Things you disliked about the relationship? List all your annoyances.
Sometimes people have patterns in their relationships that it can be useful being aware of.
Significant Past relationships
Write a little about each significant romantic relationship you have had
Give an overview of the relationship, how you met and got into the relationship, any recurring patterns.
For example some couples will always return to the same style of arguing, maybe one being a nagging or lecturing parent while the other is naughty or rebellious child. Also, how did it end and how did you feel about it?
What most scares you about being single again? What’s the worst case scenario that you most fear?
Do you have any regrets about being in the relationship? For example, some people feel they’ve wasted time and energy that they invested. Some lost touch with friends or even missed the chance to have children.
relationship Worries, Concerns And fears
Are there any worries or fears you have about being single?
Is your financial situation going to change?
Will you lose contact with your kids?
Will you lose friends?
Will you have to work or stay in contact with them?
Are you concerned about being ‘single’ again?
Apprehensive about dating again?
Will your social life change?
Whatever other thoughts, feelings of loss or fears you have write them down.
The three questions you need to be able to answer are;
- What is the dominant emotion I am feeling at the moment?
- What thought makes me most negative that I think about?
- What’s my biggest fear about that thought?