In Beta

Start Dating Right

send messages that start conversations.

Have conversations that lead to dates.

you just want to meet someone Nice and normal

Maybe you’re putting off getting started with dating.  Or maybe you’ve started, but not getting much results.

You go online and meet people, but some of your matches just don’t talk.

The ones who do talk aren’t right for you.  Or the conversation is stilted and just dies a slow death.

You begin to wonder if there’s something wrong with online dating… or even with you… 

Rob McPhillips

I know how it feels!

After my divorce, I started dating online.  I had no idea how to date online or offline.

When I first started messaging all I got was rejection after rejection. 

I wondered if I was just too ugly  🤷‍♂️

I wondered if online dating would ever work for me!

Years later... it did

After years of trial and error, I figured out how to make online dating work.

But you don’t have to take 10 years to make it work.  I want to show you how to shortcut the process.

Make Dating Simple and save time and heartache

There's one key to online dating... messaging

Online dating is like digging for oil. 

You see clues where oil (or a potential partner) is likely to be.  But it’s only after probing you find out.

Messaging – meaning your profile and the actual messages you send are how you probe to know who they are and reveal who you are.

most messages are conversation killers

Boring messages are the dating equivalent of buying a lottery ticket.

They don’t deserve a reply, but you just hope they’ll be impressed with your three line profile and blurry photo. 

Or desperate enough to take your conversational scraps.

You win at online dating by being the one who can spark conversation

Conversations are like fires.  You have to start with some kindling and poke and prod it until it bursts into life.

Then you have to keep feeding the flames.

Online dating is hard, because most people have never learned how to start the conversation fire.

So they have to wait until they meet someone who can start and nurture it for them.

But most people get bored and go off looking for someone more interesting.

you can be that more interesting person

When you know how to send more interesting messages you have more conversations.  

Better conversations leads to more dates.  And better quality dates.

For example, Karen asked me how to get more attention online and so I rewrote her profile to start more conversations.  Following the change, she got more messages and conversations. 

See how the second profile shows people how not to approach her and gives more starting points for conversations…


Original Profile

I am looking for a fun adventurous guy.  I am not looking for anything serious but rather lots of fun, laughter and adventures.  Chemistry is always a plus and will add to the fun.    

K – Kind – I practice kindness with my family, friends, neighbors, wait-staff and the office cleaning staff.

A – Adventurous – I love new adventures.  I like experiencing new places, unique foods, variety in music, local plays and meeting new people.

R – Romantic – I love walks on the beach at sunset, red wine and chocolate in front of a fire, holding hands and candlelight dinners for two.

E – Extroverted – I formulate ideas and solve problems based on interaction and input from others that I trust.

N – Normal – Well, normal is relative and in my world…I am pretty normal.

Things I am proud of:

My 3 grown sons that I raised as a single Mom – They are fantastic, independent, positively contributing men that earned their own success.

My employees – I have the best employees any manager could ask to support.

My friends – I have several friends that span decades of friendship.  We support each other through the challenges and joys of life.

My career – I have worked as a Paper Mill laborer, swim instructor, shoe factory stitcher and IT professional in many business sectors in Maine.

My volunteerism – I have been a Big Sister, a children’s grief facilitator and a friendly visitor to the elderly.

Things I wish I could conquer:

My fear of heights – some hiking trails take a lot of self-encouragement to crest the summit.

My love of sweets – it is hard to have ice cream in the freezer.

My dislike of scary movies – I get tired of throwing the blanket over my head.

Rewritten Profile

Damsel in distress looking for her Prince (White Horse Optional)

The fairy stories told me it would be easier.  That the Prince would ride in and come and sweep me off my feet and we’d ride off for adventures across the kingdom.

It seems that he got lost… or maybe the dragon got him… I’ve put up posters all around town, but someone said I should look on here.  

Unfortunately, all I’ve been getting are pictures of genitals.  I pass them onto the sexual health clinic or post them around town to give people a laugh.

So anyway, I’ve lived a life that’s full… I’ve travelled each and every highway… (I nearly broke into song) but now I’m looking for someone to travel it with.  

I’m looking for the Prince to hold my hand as we stroll along the beach at sunset.  The man who I can relax with a glass of wine and chocolate as we laugh about our day.  The man I can hide behind when the horror movie gets scary.

I’m looking for the man I can show my softer side.  The man worth my love and affection. The man I can support and connect with.  

That is just the one guy and not three separate ones by the way 🙂

I’m looking for someone genuine.  Not the guy that wants to use CIA level encryption in case I get to know his… gasp… phone number.

Nor am I looking for a protracted texting relationship with someone pretending to be someone else… why do people do that?

Oh and… I’m not looking for a father figure.  So if you’re much, much older than me, I’m sure you’re very sweet, but I’m not looking to walk alongside your mobility scooter as we hold hands..

I’m not a great texter… sorry, but I have a busy life and might leave conversations hanging for a few hours.

I would rather look into your eyes as we talk, so I’m looking to have a phone conversation – just to make sure you are a real person – and meet and see if we have a connection sooner rather than later.

I’m waiting for your message, but I’m not looking for a dick pic or the message you copy and paste to 100 girls a night… I’m looking to build a connection… with you.

I know it can be hard to send a cold message, but I’m warm and receptive… so ask me…

about the time I nearly drowned a man…

About my friend that…

About the shoes I made that…

About my time working in a real life Dunder-Miflin

Or about the time I scaled X… and almost had to have counselling from the nerves

Still waiting…

Sending Messages That Start Conversations is the secret to online dating success

Even if you’re a 22 year old supermodel drowning in dick pics and pleading messages!

Messaging is how you filter out who’s right and who’s not.

That’s why I’m creating a training programme to help Daters send better messages.

As I build it out though, I want real life examples to illustrate the principles.  So I’m looking for 10 Case Study Students (ideally 5 men and 5 women).

For one month, I will personally critique or even completely rewrite your profile and messages. 

Stumped with what to say to a blank profile?  I’ll show you what to say to spark a conversation that you love to have.

Getting boring messages?  Here’s how to train people to send you better messages.

Running out of conversation?  Here’s an explosion of new conversations to start.

What you'll really learn is how to develop connection

Connection is how you bring humanity into what can often be toxic playgrounds.

It doesn’t matter what the badly behaved children do, because you’ll learn how to bring the best out in people or leave you alone.

How does the beta group work?

As part of the Case Study group, you’ll get me personally help you write a dating profile that sparkles and send messages that develop conversations. And lead to dates.

When you join, you’ll get an onboarding questionnaire that will help me know more about you.

Then, you’ll get a link to complete any time you need me to write, check or rewrite a message.  You’ll also get a link to my calendar where you can book in to talk through any messaging situation.

For this month, I am only ever a message away.

You’ll also later get the training I create about generating messages. 

This is a one-off group.  My goal is to create the definitive training for messages in this month.  So I won’t ever spend this amount of time on messaging ever again.

But for now I want to create the best training possible.  So the messages I create, rewrite and critique will become example parts of the curriculum. 

They don’t have to have your name on and I’m not going to reveal anything too personal.

The cost to you is £100 for one month of support and access to the training.  There are ten places.

Places are available on a first-come, first-serve basis.

To get started is simple.  Just click the button and book your place now.

This isn't done for's done with you!

I’m pretty confident I could just set you up with dates, but that’s not the right way to start a relationship.

I don’t want to give you a month of messages, I want to give you the skill so you see how easy online dating can be… forever. 

So you have to be involved.  You’ll need to provide information and work with me, so it’s authentic and true to who you are.

a month from now you could be having fun conversations with Interesting people

Always knowing that you can go onto a dating site and send messages that spark conversations. 

And have conversations that lead to dates.


or you can keep pulling your hair out (How do you think i lost mine) wondering if online dating works anymore

Proof that online dating can make you bald!

Dating sites are just the places where single (well mostly) people gather to show they’re interested in a relationship.

Being there is like being in a pub 20 or 30 years and not being able to attract or interest someone you like.

This is the skill for dating success. 

And here’s your best chance to master it!