Most people are playing a relationship game that they’ll never win at.
Most people play the game of relationships as if it were a lottery. They pick a ticket (Mate) and pin all their hopes on it being the winning ticket.
The real game is more like Snakes and Ladders. There’s some things you can do that will jump you up the board and others that will set you back. The difference is that dice don’t determine your moves and you play it alone.
My job, in this challenge, is to show you the board so you see what will get you to success quicker and what will set you back.
I asked a group to share their frustrations and fears about online dating. Here’s what they said;
What is clear from this list, from the conversations I have with people and probably the conversations you have is that few people enjoy dating.
I’ve spoken to people in relationships they hate… even where there is violence… yet they stay because they dread and fear being alone or online dating.
I decided that I had to make an accessible and simple solution that would help people to Date Without Dread.
That’s what this challenge is all about.
Dating apps and sites cater to our weaknesses.
It sells the promise that people are something we can order from a catalogue.
And so people say and do things to others that they would never would in person
We get insulted, attacked, lied to and ghosted. Is it any wonder so many give up?
When you approach dating differently, you can set the tone.
Of course, you’ll still get sent dick pics and inappropriate messages, but you’ll know how to handle them so they don’t knock your Mojo.
When you take our 28 Day Challenge to Date Without Dread you learn how to – not just survive, but – thrive in dating online.
Finding your Life Partner and building a relationship that lasts isn’t easy.
Finding a Life Partner is the equivalent of finding a career you can find meaning and purpose in and make enough money to live comfortably.
Why is it for one we are willing to spend years studying and working at… and the other we expect will happen through fate?
Dating and relationships are never going to be easy.
They involve developing a higher level of interpersonal skills.
But it doesn’t have to be an unachievable mystery.
Making dating simple is about making clear choices and doing the work to make it work.
You need a process you can follow that shows you exactly what to do.
Over four weeks, we’ll give you that process. Here’s how that breaks down…
‘Be in the world without being of the world’.
I think this quote is perfect advice for dating.
When people date by default, they fall into the traps and games that everyone else does.
You have to realise that dating apps, like social media, makes it’s money from your attention. And so they are designed so you do what the apps want you to do.
You’re going to do things differently. You are going to start with the right mindset.
The mindset that works. One that allows you to stay Zen whatever other people do.
Just because other people let dating sites bring them down to their level of behaviour doesn’t mean you have to. You’re going to date with dignity. You’re going to stand out in the cesspit of human weaknesses that dating sites often become.
By being more authentic and more human, you will stand out and create real connections.
Dating sites are filled with people. They might not behave very well at times, but they’re still people.
Now when our children have tantrums, we don’t get down with them and join in. We tell them not to be so silly and show them how to behave.
Why do we act differently with adults?
The first mistake Daters make is they start from outside them.
They start swiping or scrolling profiles to see who’s on there. Then they think, what do they say to attract someone.
This approach is setting a relationship on the wrong foundations. When you start in the wrong place, it’s like leaning over to reach something. You’re off balance and can easily be knocked over.
You are the foundation that your future relationship is built on. So let’s start with making sure you are strong and stable first.
Then we’ll build out a profile that is built to highlight who you are and attract the right kind of person.
What a dating site does wonderfully is massively expand our pool of potential dates.
Our job is to find the needle within the haystack.
So first your profile is set up to make you easy to find.
Then we have to connect with messages.
Ever been frustrated getting messages that just say Hi?
Or stumped by how to message someone you like without just saying Hi?
We’re going to build you a framework so you always have something to interesting to say, to start, or keep a conversation going. One that isn’t messaging mindlessly, but to connect.
Week four is all about taking the stress out of dating and making better choices.
We’re not going to stress. We’re going to connect. And then we’re going to let people naturally show us where they fit.
See usually people make a big ordeal of;
wondering if someone likes them
It involves lots of conversations with people usually no better equipped to answer the question.
The reality is that these questions are fairly unimportant. Daters who obsess about them are majoring in the minor details. It’s a clear sign that you are dating with the wrong mindset.
I’m going to show you how to date so you know who to commit to and when. Everything before then becomes unimportant.
The Date Without Dread Challenge is the result of seeing dating cause so much pain, stress and confusion to Readers and Clients.
They hated dating, but where else do you meet a lot of single people so conveniently.
They hated how they felt being on dating sites. They hated how they were treated. so I built a system to make it simpler. This is it.
You do the task and at the end of the challenge you’ll have;
The Mindset that makes you confident to date in an authentic way that feels good.
A plan for dating that works for you.
A profile that captures your personality and attracts interest from the right people.
A plan for messaging that always gives you something to say.
A dating process so you’re clear on how to progress things from message to committed relationship.
So what does this cost?
You might spend that on 4 decent books on dating and relationships
Know exactly what it takes to make dating work for you.
No-one can assure you that you’ll find love within 28 days.
Love is like getting your career or business right. Sometimes it takes a little more time.
However, you can develop the knowledge and skills to always be able to date without dread.
Be stuck with the same dating dilemmas and dramas, cycling from failed fling to fling and always feeling frustrated that love isn’t quite working for you.
Your dating results aren’t going to change until your approach to dating changes.