If we want our relationships to be different...
we have to think differently about relationships
If we want our relationships to be different, we have to think differently about relationships.
80% of a relationship is set when a couple first meet.
It is set by the beliefs, assumptions, hopes, fears and insecurities that each individual has.
Usually we find out what these are as life gives us different challenges and contexts over time.
So we might not find the breaking point of a relationship until 5, 10 or 15 years into the relationship.
Yet it was always there. A fragility in the foundations of the relationship that just needed the right circumstances to be revealed.
Every problem starts with flawed thinking.
When we are clear, competent and confident we can navigate relationships without frustration, confusion and disappointment.
Everything I do is to challenge and refine people’s thinking so that they are better able to navigate the inevitable relationship challenges we face.
people often ask...
can relationships work in the modern world?
Is sex too easy to find? Are people too fickle today? Is cheating too easy?
Over and over again I hear the same stories.
“There’s no good single men out there in my area/of my values/religion/age.”
“Women are just out for attention and money”
“People don’t want a relationship now they can get sex from apps.”
“Dating sites don’t work”
They think there’s no-one of their age. Their values. Or whatever.
we are built with core needs...
to love and be loved
technology changes practices. It doesn't change human nature
It’s easy to look at people who only seem to want sex on dating sites… or who give up so easily on a relationship and assume relationships are screwed.
But that disregards the facts.
For billions of years we have evolved as a pair binding species.
Helen Fisher talks about our three core relationship drives.
- The sex drive
- The romance drive
- The drive for deep attachment
What often happens is that sex is the easiest to satiate and so often women will find men on dating sites approaching them too sexually.
It doesn’t mean that all they want is sex. All of the men seeking sex also want romance and attachment. Just not necessarily with everyone they’re looking to sleep with.
The problem is that a lot of people are jaded and wounded from broken relationships.
And so many people don’t lasting love is possible. So to protect themselves they’ve sworn off relationships.
There has never been a time...
with more access to more single people
There are millions of single people of all age groups... all orientations... all beliefs...
so why shouldn't at least one be just right for you?
For most of human history we lived in communities of less than 150 people.
From 150 people, you don’t have a lot of choice of suitable partners.
Yet today, we are flooded with choices. You can choose one of several apps to swipe or browse profiles.
You can then choose through thousands of profiles of every age, orientation and any other variable you want to choose.
It doesn’t matter what you look like. What you speak like. What your height, weight or any other insecurity you think is keeping you from finding love.
There are available single people for everyone.
The problem is...
that we don't know how
relationships have completely changed in the last couple of generations.
Yet, We haven't updated the stories we tell ourselves to operate more effectively.
Let’s not beat around the bush.
We suck at relationships.
55% of our most committed relationships, marriages end in heartbreak and disappointment.
No-one is coming to save you.
The Fairy Godmother isn’t going to magically send you the perfect man or woman to ‘complete you’.
Cupid’s arrows aren’t the solution to your relationship woes.
And neither are the scammy Pick Up Artists and Dating Coaches who will tell you they have the secret words and texts that will make someone fall in love with you – and only you – forever.
These are all part of the reason why relationships are so difficult for so many people.
I have no magic pills.
No magic bullets to make relationships easy.
No magic scripts or secret spells.
But if you’re a smart independent thinker who’s ready to give up the fantasy of the fairy tale and the Disney dream…
And you’re ready to roll up your sleeves and do what it takes to find and nurture love.
Then I have the solution you might be looking for.
It won’t be instant.
It won’t be easy.
But I will dispel the myths of relationships and simplify them as much as possible.
Like Air Traffic Control for relationships...
i help people steer safely to the right destination
Hi, I’m Rob McPhillips and my specialty is helping people get back on track in their lives and relationships.
Most of my Clients and Readers have been frustrated and felt helpless to change and create the relationships they really want.
I show them how to change the stories they tell themselves so they reframe relationships to something that is more natural and simple.
It’s all part of my bigger quest to liberate and empower Independent Thinkers.
I call this the ThinkFree Rebellion. The act of reclaiming your thinking from dogma, drama and dated maps.
Are your relationships...
on course and going where you want them to?
all things in life work on principles whether we are aware of them or not.
knowing the principles empowers us.
Life and relationships are actually really simple.
What makes them complicated are the stories, fears and anxieties we tell ourselves about them.
The stories we have been told.
The stories we tell ourselves.
The fears, doubts and anxieties we have.
These are the things that make relationships so complex.
Join us in the ThinkFree Rebellion and cut through the fog to Make Relationships Simple
If you are ready to finally make relationships work for you then sign up for the free training below.
In it, I will share with you five key principles to help you change the game of relationships to one that you can win.
Now like Neo in the Matrix, you have a choice.
Do you want the truth?
Or to believe the relationship lies that keep most people stuck?